Prior to viewing the movie, however, my sister hosts an afternoon slide show depicting scenes from when we were growing up. I know that one of her goals is to prove to year-in and year-out that I am "Ralphie Parker," the nine-year-old whose dream is for Santa Claus to come bearing a Red Ryder 200-shot, range model, air rifle. Ralphie pins all of his hopes and dreams for Christmas on getting that air rifle, despite the protestations of his mother, fourth grade teacher, and even the Santa Claus at Huckabee’s Department Store, each of whom said "you’ll shoot your eye out, Ralphie."

If you’ve seen The Christmas Story, you may recall that, on the way home from school with his pals one early December afternoon, Ralphie gets into a fight with the neighborhood bully, Scott Farcus. And, in the ensuing mêlée, Ralphie’s glasses get broken. After his mother puts an end to the fight, takes Ralphie home, and treats his wounds, Ralphie then proceeds to his bedroom, awaiting his father’s return from work. Confused and fearful, Ralphie contemplates the inevitable encounter with his father when Ralphie will have to explain why he got into a fight with Scott Farcus.

Like Ralphie Parker in his bedroom, the disciples in today’s gospel have gathered in an upper room and have barred the door for fear of the encounter that’s inevitable. If the disciples barred the door solely because they feared the Jewish authorities, the disciples know that they will have to answer "yes," they were Jesus’ followers and, perhaps, to suffer the consequences as Jesus had only eight days earlier. Or, they will lie, saying "no, we weren’t Jesus’ followers," only to deny him yet another time.

But, the disciples had already been told that Jesus has risen from the dead. So, perhaps they are behind that barred door because they fear the inevitable encounter they will have with Jesus. And, in that encounter, similar to the encounter Ralphie Parker knows he is going to have with his father, the disciples are going to have to explain themselves to Jesus.

Take St. Peter. Because he feared more what others said about him than he loved Jesus, Peter denied Jesus not one but three times. How is Peter going to explain that?

Or, how about St. Thomas? He wasn’t even present in the upper room when Jesus first appeared. Instead, Thomas was out and about someplace, perhaps trying to get his life back on track, hoping to put behind himself all of the now-painful memories of his time with Jesus and the other disciples. Thomas had pinned all of his hopes on Jesus---believing that he was the promised Messiah---and, now, with Jesus dead, Thomas has become cynical. He even disbelieves that Jesus had risen and appeared to the disciples, perhaps thinking their story is a sick joke.

How many of us are like Peter, protecting ourselves from those whom we’ve betrayed by our denials, by our false accusations, or by our malicious gossip? Rather than facing those whom we’ve wronged, admitting our evil, and begging forgiveness, isn’t it easier to bar the door and to shut those people out of our lives, even though we know that we can’t do that forever?

How many of us are like Thomas, having been stung by the pain of dreams that have become nightmares? How many of us have resigned ourselves to a bleak and hopeless future where we talk about what "might only have been" but always prefacing it with "if only that hadn’t happened"? And, rather than confront our unhappiness and despair, isn’t it easier to turn our backs on the past and to pretend that we can just walk away from it all? We may not use a metal bar to keep a physical door shut. But, how about the bar of cynicism, like the one Thomas was using to keep the tears of grief that had been welling up in his heart from gushing forth?

And yet, Jesus breaks through the bars of the physical doors to forgive Peter and the door of cynicism that Thomas has allowed to turn his heart into stone. To Peter, Thomas, and the other disciples, Jesus simply says, "Peace be with you. Whose sins you forgive they are forgiven; whose sins you retain, they are retained." No explanations, only Divine Mercy and the command to forgive others.

Isn’t this true is in all of our relationships, whether any particular relationship involves one’s spouse, one’s parents, brothers and sisters, one’s in-laws, or even neighbors, co-workers, and, for that matter, all of God’s people. But, good people do bad things. And, because good people sin, they allow fear, guilt, and shame to justify locking themselves behind barred doors.

Today’s gospel challenges us with a series of questions:

• Do you try to break through the barred doors? Or, do you stubbornly refuse to break through them, allowing their fear, guilt, and shame to justify your estrangement?
• Are you willing to forgive others like Jesus forgave Peter, Thomas, and all of the disciples? Or, would you rather retain their sins, forcing others to remain behind their freely chosen barred doors?

Also, don't overlook the contrast to Peter, Thomas, and the other disciples to be found in the disciple who was absent from that upper room---Judas the Betrayer---the one who sold Jesus for thirty silver pieces.

Why wasn’t Judas there in the upper room?

Could it have been that, when the moment came for Judas to confront the truth of his terrible misdeed, Judas allowed his fear, guilt, and shame to convince him that the only escape from the living hell he had created for himself and others was to take his own life?

Imagine if Judas had only allowed himself to believe that Jesus---God’s only begotten son, the one who Thomas had himself witnessed forgiving sinners---could also forgive Judas the Betrayer. Judas then would have been present in that upper room. He would have experienced Jesus the Risen Lord and---just like Peter, Thomas, and the other disciples---offering forgiveness. Through divine mercy, the peace of Christ would have flooded Judas' heart washing away all of the fear, the guilt, and the shame resulting from Judas' evil choice. Think of the ministry Judas could have exercised, if only Judas had recognized that Jesus could forgive even Judas’ sin!

Good people do bad things. They run for cover behind barred doors. And, they live in fear, guilt, and shame rather than to live in the peace of Christ that comes through the forgiveness afforded by divine mercy. Yet, as today’s gospel teaches, the peace of Christ will be theirs, when we---as Jesus disciples---break through the doors that others have barred and forgive them just as Jesus forgave Peter, Thomas, and the other disciples.

I’ve frequently noted that the miracle of forgiveness is the only miracle we know with absolute certainty that we can perform. And, that miracle---the gift of forgiveness---presents the paradox of discipleship. When we choose not to forgive others:

• we live like Peter, fearing our betrayals;
• we live like Thomas, despairing about the past and feeling hopeless about the future;
• or, we choose death to escape the hell we’ve made of our own as well as others’ lives, as Judas did.

Jesus broke through the door of fear, guilt, and shame, forgiving Peter, Thomas, and all of the disciples of their sins.

But, Jesus couldn’t forgive Judas---not because Jesus didn’t want to forgive Judas---but because Judas had chosen to close his heart to divine mercy. And so, we're left marveling at what Judas could have accomplished, had he opened himself to the possibility of divine mercy, to be present to accept Jesus’ forgiveness, to allow Jesus to breathe the Holy Spirit into his soul and, then, to send Judas out into the world to forgive others as Jesus forgave him.