Driving home from the airport this past Friday afternoon, I
was listening to Sean Hannity on WABC in New York. Hannity was talking
with a woman who had called wanting to know how Hannity¾a Roman Catholic conservative¾was
able to be so kind and civil to his co-host, Alan Colmes¾a
Roman Catholic liberal¾on
the Fox News Channel’s Hannity and Colmes Show. Hannity
responded that he has learned not to let Colmes get under his skin but,
instead, to believe that the power of his ideas will ultimately win the
argument. Hannity then related this to being a successful parent,
noting that successful parents learn not to let their kids get under
their skin but begin each day as if yesterday didn’t happen. “You just
have to understand that that’s where kids are at and one day they
hopefully will pass beyond it,” Hannity said.
I haven’t raised any children but I have taught a lot of
people’s children over the past three decades. And, I do know that when
it comes to students¾especially
teenage students¾the
most successful teachers do precisely what Sean Hannity was describing.
At the beginning of each day, these women and men don’t let what their
students did yesterday becloud their judgment about their students
today. Instead, most successful teachers begin each day by taking a
fresh look at their students¾not
forgetting what happened yesterday¾but looking instead to bring out of them something better and
more positive than that which reared its ugly head on the previous day.
Perhaps, too, some of us have experienced just the opposite,
namely, a teacher who never was able to see beyond the fact of something
we did yesterday or one of our siblings had done in a previous year.
Each day, rather than taking a fresh look at us, this teacher prejudged
us. There was nothing we could do to change the mental image which the
teacher had already formed of us. Sadly, not much learning took place
in that classroom because the teacher’s prejudice formed an impenetrable
wall for both of us.
I’m pretty sure that Hannity is correct; it’s got to be like that with parents,
especially with parents teenage children. Undoubtedly, every child
proves troublesome at one time or another and, sometimes, is downright
irksome. I’ve seen kids say things to their parents and act toward their
parents in ways that, if I were the parent, I’d
probably go ballistic. But, if all a parent focused upon what the child said or did, the
probability is that the parent would become incapable of seeing anything
worthwhile in that child. And, if this was the case for an extended
period of time¾perhaps
even years¾the
child would experience profound alienation from his or her parent,
believing that there is nothing that he or she could ever do to gain any
respect from his or her parent. Likewise, there’d be nothing the child
could do to change the way the parent saw this child. Both the child
and the parent would live in a prison of the parent’s own making.
Luckily, most parents¾even
those who go ballistic¾are
able to see beyond what their kids say and do and don’t
construct prisons.
It's got to be like
that, no doubt, with spouses. I know lots of spouses who have
learned not to become like
“The Bickermans,” that is, allowing one another’s momentary attitudes
and lapses into bothersome idiosyncrasies transform into major obstacles
and roadblocks to a healthy and mature relationship with one another.
These spouses have learned¾perhaps
through some harsh lessons¾to
bite their lower lip, to turn away from an opportunity to score a low
blow, and to waltz away upstairs or to another room rather than to
engage in bludgeoning one another over what oftentimes are
part-and-parcel of what constitutes fallible human beings. Then,
at the start of a new day, rather descend into the mud pit and start
slinging the mud in an act of revenge, one spouse takes a fresh look at
the other and moves beyond the temptation to engage in warfare and to
construct prisons that make it impossible to have a healthy and mature
relationship with one’s spouse.
Arguably, there is little else worse than being alone in the
world and experiencing the alienation caused by being labeled as one of
society’s “untouchables.” To be surrounded by people and yet to remain untouched and unwanted
creates a spiritual pain more piercing than that caused by any physical
disease.
Yet, that is precisely what so many people do. Perhaps we
even do it ourselves when we blame others for their plights and regard
them as untouchable. It may be that someone lives a lifestyle we don’t
approve of. It may be a person who is afflicted with HIV-AIDS, an unwed
teenage mother, a drug addict, an alcoholic, or a mentally ill person
living on the streets. To deal with the unease we experience when these
untouchable people approach us, we avoid them or we ignore them so that
we won’t have to stretch out our hands and touch them. Sadly, parents
sometimes cast out their children from their lives, children
sometimes cast their parents out of their lives, and sometimes¾more
often than any of us would ever hope¾cast
their spouse out of their lives.
How many of us have cast out people who were once our
friends and now label them as “untouchable”?
Today’s gospel presents a striking contrast to this approach
to dealing with the “untouchables” among us. Rather than prejudge the
man with leprosy as was common in the Jewish community at the time,
Jesus took a fresh look at him and, by doing so, scandalized his fellow
Jews by going so far as to dare to touch someone whom society had
ostracized as untouchable.
Why would Jesus engage in such risky behavior?
The gospel answers this question, telling us that Jesus
stretched out his hand to the leprous man because Jesus was “moved with
pity.”
Having knelt down and begged Jesus, “If you wish, you can
make me clean,” we might conclude that Jesus “felt badly” for the man
afflicted with leprosy and, because of this, Jesus stretched forth his
hand and willed that the leper be healed.
While
I am certain that Jesus did feel badly about the leper and
his plight, this interpretation doesn’t square with what
people who have been ostracized want others to feel. Handicapped
persons, people with deformities, teenagers with zits and crooked teeth
or who believe themselves to be too tall or too short, the elderly
abandoned in nursing homes, and the lesser-abled among us don’t want us
to feel sorry for them. No, what these people desire is for us to look
at them for who are, not as society and we may judge them to be, namely,
something less than worthy of the touch of our hand.
In fact, the word “pity” derives from the Latin root “pietas”
or “piety” in English. The term denotes devotion to religious duty and
practice as well as loyalty and devotion to others. Being “moved with
pity,” Jesus didn’t feel sorry for the man with leprosy. No, moved by
devotion to what Jewish law required every faithful Jew to practice,
namely, that he love God and neighbor as he loves himself, Jesus brought
God’s law to its perfect fulfillment in this instance by willing that
the leprous man be made clean. “I do will it,” Jesus said, “Be made
clean.” Moved by loyalty and devotion to others and their needs rather
than simply putting his feelings and self-interest first, Jesus did what
not one of his fellow Jews was willing to do. “Moved, with pity,” Mark
tells us, “Jesus stretched out his hand, touched the man with leprosy,
and said, “I do will it. Be made clean.”
It’s so very easy to dismiss people because of our petty
prejudices and the judgments we’ve made about them, isn’t it? Perhaps to avoid scandalizing others and offending
them, we don’t look at others as Jesus looked upon the leprous man¾“with
pity”¾and will that these persons be healed of the behaviors,
attitudes, and sins afflicting them. Or, perhaps to avoid sullying
ourselves, we don’t make the great personal sacrifice required if, like Jesus, we were
going to stretch out our hand, touch those people, and will that they be
made clean.
“If you wish, you can make me clean,” the lepers of our lives¾the people we have labeled untouchable¾tell
us. Perhaps it’s the unpopular moron at school. Perhaps it’s a
lazy co-worker. Closer to home, it may be one’s stupid brother or sister or
one’s pathetic in-laws. More sadly yet, it may
be one’s insolent child, one’s unyielding parent, or one’s
thoughtless and selfish spouse. Why are we so afraid and what
reasons do we use to justify withholding our hand and from willing that
any of these persons be healed of the disease afflicting them?
Using today’s gospel to answer this question, the simple
reason is that¾unlike Jesus¾our
hearts are not moved with pity. That is, we are devoted neither to
religious duty and practice nor by loyalty to others. Our hearts are
filled not with charity but with selfishness and, as the untouchable
approach us, we put our feelings and our self-interest first and use
that to justify withholding our hands and turning our backs upon the
untouchables.
The true irony, however, is that by not stretching out our hands
to these people and by not allowing ourselves to be touched by them for
fear that their cooties will infect us, we really are saying, “I don’t
want you to touch me.” And, in so doing, we expose the hypocritical leprosy that is
festering in and threatening to destroy our hearts.
Why are good parents, successful teachers, and wise spouses able to begin each day
as if yesterday didn’t happen? It’s simply because good parents love
their children more than they love themselves. Successful teachers love
their students more than they care about their own feelings and
self-interest.
And, wise spouses understand that they married a fallible human being
who they love more than they care about their own feelings and
self-interest.
But, as nice as this is¾it’s
the stuff of good, civil, and mature behavior¾this
isn’t what discipleship is about.
In his letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul reminds us today
that disciples imitate Christ just as St. Paul did. Exactly how are we to do this as
disciples and not because we are merely good, civil, and mature people?
Today’s gospel provides the model. To imitate Jesus, we must
be willing to stretch out our hands to those we view as untouchable and we must will
that they be healed of the diseases afflicting them. By being
willing to stretch out
our hands and to reach beyond our self-interest in imitation of Jesus,
we will that the love of God present in our hearts pour
forth, heal others of their isolation and the shame they feel, and build up a community whose members know their true dignity is found in
loving God and neighbor as much as they love themselves. |