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When we find ourselves
challenged by frustrating and unhappy circumstances in our marriages,
when raising our children, and even when contemplating career choices,
we oftentimes ask ourselves, “What do I need to do?”
In today’s gospel,
Jesus taught his disciples a lesson that provides a response to this
question. He said: “Unless the grain of wheat falls to the ground and
dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much
fruit.” To explain what this teaching means for his disciples, Jesus
added: “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in
this world will preserve it for eternal life.”
In a world tortured by
terrorism, by war, and by many forms of violence, it’s pretty easy to
relate Jesus’ teaching to the selfless acts of heroism demonstrated by
our military personnel. Whether we’ve seen these heroic acts on our
television screens or read about them in our newspapers, the men and
women who have been killed in action in the war against terror as it has
been unfolding in Iraq the past two weeks, in particular, have given
their lives in the cause of liberty and preserved them for eternal life.
As important as these
selfless, heroic acts have been, the greater majority of women and men
don’t want to suffer or die for causes larger than themselves. They
would rather turn away from suffering and the possibility of death,
believing that they are preserving their lives when, in reality, they
are only preserving life in this world which death is sure to destroy.
Many of Jesus’
disciples, however, willingly give their lives to causes larger than
themselves. They do so by embracing suffering so that, like Jesus, they
might be a source of eternal salvation for others. These unsung heroes
and heroines are our husbands and wives, our parents, and our teenagers
and young adults who deeply value their relationship with God and,
through their “prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears” to
the One who is “able to save them from death,” are a source of eternal
salvation for others.
Take, for example, the
vocation to marriage.
For these unsung heroes
and heroines, the most important aspect of the Sacrament of Marriage is
heartfelt prayer to the One who is able to save marriage from death. In
this sense, all of the theatrics and glitz that couples preparing for a
wedding tend to focus upon primarily are absolutely and utterly devoid
of meaning and grace. Why? Because these disciples understand that the
foundation of such a marriage is heartfelt prayer. And, because these
heroic disciples desire to be united in God as husband and wife, when
situations arise and cause them to wonder what they need to do, these
disciples busy themselves in heartfelt prayer so that, through obedience
to their vocation, they become a source of eternal salvation for others,
especially their beloved.
The vocation to be a
parent is no different.
For these heroic
disciples, raising children includes heartfelt prayer to the One who can
save children from death. In this sense, these disciples view all of
the parenting advice so freely given in books, magazines, as well as on
radio and television as utterly devoid of meaning and grace not because
the advice isn’t good―some
of it is very good―but because the vocation to be a parent must be built upon heartfelt
prayer. When situations cause heroic disciples to wonder what they must
do, they busy themselves in prayer as individuals and as couples so
that, they will learn through obedience to their vocation what their
suffering is teaching them. This is how these moms and dads become a
source of eternal salvation for others, especially their children.
For Jesus’ disciples
who are teenagers and young adults, it’s no different with regard to
considerations about one’s career.
These heroic disciples―there are many of them, they just don’t talk about it―recognize how many of their peers forget about the centrality of
heartfelt prayer as they think about they lives after high school
graduation and contemplate a career. These heroic disciples know that,
absent prayer, all of the studies, career counseling, and years of hard
work to achieve one’s career goal are utterly devoid of meaning and
grace. Why? Because they know that the foundation of their efforts is
not prayer to the One who can save teenagers and young adults from
career choices that lead teenagers and young adults down career paths
that look pretty enticing but are, in reality, nothing more than a
dead‑end. As disciples, heroic teenagers and young adults busy
themselves in prayer so that, in their chosen career, they might become
a source of eternal salvation for others.
Now I know that much of
what I have said about preparing for marriage, raising a family, and
choosing a career may sound like nothing more than bouquets of “pious
posies”―you know, saying the things priests are supposed to say in church on
Sundays but really don’t have much to do with “real” life. But, let me
assure you, suffering and death are two facts of life that will visit
every one of us, just as suffering and death visited Jesus.
Today’s epistle reminds
us that, when Jesus wondered about what he should do, he offered to God
“prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears.” Jesus didn’t
just pray; no, he prayed from the depths of his soul and this became
evident in his cries and tears. By praying from the depths of his soul
and making prayer the foundation upon which he made decisions, Jesus did
not fear suffering. Instead, “Son though he was,” the Letter to the
Hebrews states, “Jesus learned obedience from what he suffered.” For
Jesus’ disciples, those words might be restated: “Disciples though we
are, we learn obedience from what we suffer.”
What might this mean
for us?
As a starting point for
these considerations, we might think about marriage, raising children,
and contemplating careers.
Once the wedding and
honeymoon have passed, we all know that suffering becomes a part of
every marriage. Some of these experiences include: learning that one’s
beloved isn’t quite as perfect as one had imagined during the time of
courtship and engagement; frustration that one’s beloved doesn’t always
live up to one’s expectations or keep one’s word; the pain experienced
when one’s beloved exhibits such deep selfishness that one wonders
whether one’s spouse loves anyone other than himself; and, finally, the
suffering caused by illness and, ultimately, the death of one’s beloved
after decades of marriage.
How fast those dreams
of “happily ever after” fade into a dreamy past when suffering enters
the scene!
But, for Jesus’
disciples, the question is “What happens when spouses encounter these
and other challenging and frustrating experiences which lead to
suffering and one wonders what to do?”
The Letter to the
Hebrews teaches Jesus’ disciples that unless their marriage is built
upon the offering of prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears
to the One who can save a marriage from death, spouses will turn away
from suffering and look elsewhere for happiness. They will not learn
the lessons that obedience to one’s vocation teaches. These lessons are
learned only by embracing suffering. Nor will their marriage be saved
from death and be made perfect. Finally, spouses will not become the
source of salvation for others, especially their beloved.
Then, there’s
parenting.
At baptisms, it’s
always wonderful to see parents looking into the eyes of their newborn.
It seems as if the newborn’s parents are trying to pierce into their
infant’s soul and to augur what the future will bring. The parents’
hearts are alight with love and hope for a blissful future as a family.
But, as infants grow and mature, suffering enters into every parent’s
life, perhaps with some children giving their parents more grief than
other children, but suffering is a part and parcel of parenting
nonetheless. In return for one’s love, parents experience the suffering
that comes from a child’s snotty remarks, selfishness, dishonesty,
laziness, or insolence.
How quickly the dream
of one’s family being like Leave it to Beaver and The Brady
Bunch morphs into Married with Children!
But, for Jesus’
disciples, the
question is “What happens when spouses encounter these and other
challenging and frustrating experiences which lead to suffering and one
wonders that to do?”
The Letter to the
Hebrews teaches that unless Jesus’ disciples build their family life
upon the offering of prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears
to the One who can save children from death, parents will not learn what
obedience to their vocation teaches through suffering. Their children,
in turn, will not be made perfect. And, finally, these parents will not
become the source of salvation for others, especially their children.
And then, when
teenagers and young adults contemplate what they should do with their
lives, there’s the importance of making career choices based upon
prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to the One who can
save teenagers and young adults from making dead-end career choices.
Those of us who’ve
“been there…and done that” know that, after the happiness and good
feeling engendered by having landed a coveted job wears away, suffering
quickly enters the picture. It begins as daily and weekly life becomes
a boring routine that makes one feel like a hamster going nowhere real
fast on an exercise wheel. The suffering intensifies as one comes to
believe that he is underpaid and underappreciated for all of his
efforts. And, if the economy turns south, there’s the added suffering
that comes when one is laid off, loses one’s job, or is fired. In the
face of all of this, suffering becomes almost unbearable as one
contemplates those career choices one could have made decades earlier.
What happens as when
teenagers and young people encounter these and other career-related
experiences which lead to suffering and one wonders that to do?
The Letter to the
Hebrews teaches that if, as disciples, teenagers and young adults fail
to make career choices upon the foundation of prayers and supplications
with loud cries and tears to the One who can save teenagers and young
adults from dead-end career choices, teenagers and young adults will not
learn the obedience that comes from suffering. And these disciples, in
turn, will not become the source of salvation for others.
How many people who
consider themselves faithful disciples―yet
are fearful of suffering and turn away from it―have
learned these sad lessons all too late and with devastating consequences
not only for themselves but also for their marriages, their families,
and their careers? How much better would these marriages, families, and
careers have been had Jesus’ disciples willingly embraced suffering,
learned the lessons that obedience to their vocation had to teach them
and, then, grown to become a source of salvation for others!
This is the wisdom
Jesus taught his disciples by his example. Discipleship is not about
theatrics and glitz or power and riches, but the willingness to embrace
suffering each day so that, through obedience to one’s
vocation, the
roots of selfishness present in one’s soul will be destroyed, and
through this death, to discover how God’s law―placed into our
hearts―rises to new life as we become a source of salvation
for others through our marriages, in our families, and through our
careers. Like Jesus, Christians become a source of blessing for others
as they embrace suffering and death rather attempt to escape both and as
they pray and offer supplications to God with loud cries and tears as
they suffer and die, not for themselves but for others.
As the season of Lent
moves closer to the time of Jesus’ Passion, the focus of our
contemplation necessarily turns away from ourselves and our need for
forgiveness, healing, and spiritual growth. Scripture now turns our
attention toward Jesus and the heroism he modeled as he embraced
suffering and learned what obedience to this vocation required of him,
namely, a perfect act of love culminating in his death on the Cross.
And so, the question
scripture raises for us to consider is: “What will I do when I find
myself wondering what I need to do when suffering visits me in my
marriage, when raising my children, and in my career?” Will I embrace
the suffering that comes my way and learn what obedience to my vocation
requires? Or, will I attempt, in vain, to flee from it?
Embracing suffering and
learning what obedience to one’s vocation requires―not
turning away and running from suffering and obedience―is
the essence of Christian discipleship. This is the sure pathway to the
grace of salvation that Jesus won for his disciples. Son of God though
he was, Jesus embraced suffering and, like the grain of wheat he spoke
about in today’s gospel, Jesus died so he would fulfill his vocation to
be the source of salvation for others. And, today, that is our
vocation, as Jesus’ disciples. |
HOMILY
