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With the start of
the new school year, it’s good to see the students once again lining and
waiting in the wee hours of the morning at the bus stop. Things on the
home front are back to normal after the summer recess. And, as is
customary this early in the new school year, if you take a close enough
look at the kids standing there at the bus stop, you’ll very quickly see
“what’s hot and what’s not” in the world of kids’ fashion.
For kids attending
parochial school―what
we used to call “the Catholics” when I was a kid―nothing
is hot. Although the duds are brand spanking new, it’s still the same
old duds. And, that’s is as it should be for, after all, we do pray,
“As it was in the beginning, is now, and shall be forever. Amen.” (I
call these kinds of unchanging metaphysical verities the “Glory be’s.”)
But, it’s not any
different for the kids who attend public school, what we used to call
“the Publics” when I was in school. At least from what I see, they also
are wearing uniforms…not that they’d ever admit it. But, the simple
fact is, the girls are as uniformly dressed as are the boys. And, it’s
pretty hard to see much,
if there is any,
difference between them.
As parents of the
Catholics know perhaps all too well, their kids complain because they
have to wear a uniform to school. The oftentimes cited justification is
that a uniform saves money for clothing that goes to pay tuition. But,
the parents of the Publics also know―even
despite their kids’ protestations otherwise―they
also wear to school a uniform, one that is very expensive and added to
public school tuition, what’s called “property taxes.”
It’s all quite
ironic. Whereas the Catholics grumble that they aren’t allowed to
express their individuality (and yet are doing precisely that as they
grumble), the Publics are equally adamant that they are expressing their
individuality (even, though to any objective observer, they look like
clones of one another).
Perhaps “it was ever
thus” between the Catholics and the Publics. “Methinks thou dost
protest a bit too much,” is how Shakespeare probably would have
responded to similar griping.
For my part, I
believe the Catholics have one distinct advantage over the Publics, an
advantage that their parents should promote. That is, the style of the
parochial school uniform forces everyone to look alike. This
raises a very important question: “What, then, really makes me
distinctive as an individual?”
One doesn’t have to
be a member of Mensa to conclude that the response to this question is
that what truly counts is not the clothes people wear. Instead, the
content and quality of their character, the person they truly are
within, and especially as they exhibit that person through their words
and actions is what truly counts.
I call this a
“distinct advantage because when kids―and,
especially teenagers―are
confronted by peer pressure to look like everyone else so that they fit
into the group, it is less likely that young people will contend with
that important question. Namely, how is someone to discover who one
truly is and what’s truly important in life if that person is only looks
toward others for the answers?
Spiritually
speaking, when we seek to define ourselves and discover our importance
by identifying ourselves and what is really important by what others say
and do, we tread a very dangerous pathway. Rather than developing a
strong and firm sense of self-identity and the holy and virtuous
character that defines a truly good person, we wittingly or unwittingly
dupe ourselves into living our lifetimes always trying to please others
in a vain hope for acceptance. All this really proves, however, is that
we really don’t accept ourselves in the first place!
So, it’s not unusual
for teenagers to dress like their friends, to talk like their friends
and, even, to walk like their friends. Most adults know this because
we’ve “been there” and “done that.” Likewise, we all know adults―and,
perhaps, we’re guilty of this to some degree ourselves―who
seek to be associated with others as if those associations are what
makes them “somebody.” It could be something as simple as
displaying a photograph of ourselves standing besides a celebrity or it
could be something as complex as having to belong to a country club
populated by the rich and famous.
When the standard of
judgment we use to define is how others dress, what others think, or any
other such externals, we wittingly or unwittingly allow ourselves to
fall into the trap of defining ourselves and our self worth in terms of
whether or not others accept us. “I just want to be accepted,” many
teenagers oftentimes lament to themselves, to a parent, or to a friend.
But, when we utter that lament, we blind ourselves to the mountain of
evidence that tells us we’re headed in the wrong direction. We then
turn a deaf ear to those―like
our parents and religious leaders―who
contradict what the “in group” asserts. We also allow ourselves to
become so stubborn that we become paralyzed in our attitude. And, we
silence the voice of our hearts because we fear being rejected by
others.
All of this
malignant behavior is first learned early on in life in little lessons
where we strive to be like everyone else. However, the truly deadly
effects of this behavior only become evident later on in life after
we’ve addicted ourselves to the pleasure experienced by “fitting in” to
the nameless and faceless crowd rather than by “standing out” in terms
of our character. The fleeting happiness that comes with being a clone
is the elixir we drink rather than the abiding peace and joy that comes
with being the holy and virtuous person each of us truly is within.
None of these
externals make anybody into somebody―an
outstanding person―spiritually
speaking. In fact, the more we believe these externals make us
somebody, they have the net negative effect of keeping us from
confronting one of the most important spiritual challenges in life, in
particular, the challenge to identify who we truly are and to
demonstrate that character in holy and virtuous words and actions.
In this sense, then,
the spiritually healthy and mature person looks not to others but into
himself or herself to recognize who one is as a child of God.
It is within our
power to define ourselves in terms of who we truly are not only as
outstanding individuals but, more importantly, as children of God. We
can choose to open our eyes to the words of Scripture and Church
teaching as we struggle to lead holy and virtuous lives. We can choose
to open our ears to those who challenge us to pursue holiness for the
sake of holiness and virtue for the sake of virtue. We can also choose
to alter our stance and to move about so that we might change the course
our life is taking as sometimes is necessary. And, we can choose to
state the truth forthrightly because we know deep inside that it is the
truth.
These are the
positive lessons to be learned from the mistake of wanting to be like
everybody else. But, the truly life-giving effects of these lessons
only become evident later in life because, only after we’ve struggled
early in life to strengthen ourselves and our character by being who we
truly are and now oftentimes find ourselves assaulted head on by those
who want to be like everyone else and don’t want us telling them where
their true happiness is to be found. We’d rather, of course, these
people listen and accept what we say as we witness to the truth
proclaimed by Scripture and Church teaching. But, they don’t want
neither to listen nor to accept us and or message.
Sometimes, their
unwillingness reveals itself in rather dramatic fashion.
How many of us have
had to confront a spouse, a child, or even a parent who’s addicted to
some substance or behavior that once promised happiness but is now
delivering death? However, when we confront this person, the venom
spewed from the mouth of the addict knows no bounds and suddenly we’re
the problem. We receive angry words and hateful stares in return for
the love we once so freely gave. We stand accused of all sorts of
selfish and self-serving behavior, where we once sought only the good of
another person.
How many parents
have found themselves having sincerely tried to do their very best to
raise their children in the pathway of true happiness that parents know
is to be found in the faith and moral teaching of the Church? Yet, when
confronting a child who’s freely chosen to cast to the winds all the
years of effort, these parents suddenly they find themselves made into
the problem as their child spews venomous lies and insults that know no
bounds. For love the parents gave so freely, mocking insults, rivers of
alligator tears, and glacier glares are returned. The lessons of
holiness and virtue once taught are now belittled before those who so
patiently taught them.
When people find
themselves in the midst of this crucible, here is what the prophet
Isaiah suggests:
Thus says the Lord:
Say to those whose hearts are frightened:
Be strong, fear not!
Here is your God,
he comes with vindication;
with divine recompense he comes to save you.
Perhaps the fact is that every manifestation of the power of evil traces
its origin to those early lessons in life where young people are
challenged to identify where they will discover their happiness. Will
they freely choose to discover their identity within as children of
God? Or, will they freely choose to discover their identity outside of
themselves, for example, in the peer group?
Years later, long
after the seeds once planted have come to fruition, the answer becomes
apparent whether it’s in addictions or immorality. “Some of these
demons,” Jesus said, “can only be healed by prayer.”
As is evident from
today’s gospel, Jesus wasn’t talking about private prayer but, instead,
an action-oriented form of prayer, the type of prayer he exhibited in
today’s gospel when Jesus took with deaf man with a speech impediment
“off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man’s
ears and, spitting, touched his tongue; then he looked up to heaven and
groaned and said to him, Ephphatha!”―that
is, “Be opened!”
Jesus didn’t go to
his room and pray for the poor fellow. Nor did Jesus confront the
fellow in public. Instead, Jesus took the deaf mute aside and directly
addressed the spiritual roots of his physical malady.
Disciples who have
learned that true happiness is found in the pathway taught by faith and
the Church’s moral teaching know their true identity. Like Jesus, these
outstanding women and men don’t fear saying to the blind, “Open your
eyes and see.” They don’t fear saying to the deaf, “Would you just
listen to yourself?” They don’t fear demanding of the spiritually and
morally paralyzed, “Get up. Stand up on your own two feet!” And, they
don’t fear telling the mute, “Tell me the truth.”
Through their life
of action-oriented prayer, Jesus’ disciples bring healing to those who
suffer as a consequence of choosing to find their happiness without
rather than within themselves. These disciple do so, however, knowing
full well that the pathway to healing and the resurrection of the dead
is the Way of the Cross. But, they willingly bear the weight of the
Cross upon their shoulders as they struggle to continue Jesus’ mission
of bringing salvation to the world.
In another part of
the gospel Jesus asked his disciples: “Do you love me?” To which they
responded: “Yes, Lord, you know that we love you.” In return, Jesus
said and he says to us, “Feed my sheep.” We need not be frightened by
the evil that we encounter along the Way of the Cross. In the end, God
will vindicate us and the recompense that He bears is the joy that will
be ours as people discover the source of true happiness. |
HOMILY
