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One of the
really difficult sins we humans have to contend with our entire life
long is that of hating others and wishing that evil befall them. While we
may think in our minds and espouse with our lips what Jesus teaches his
disciples—namely, that it is better to love those who wrong them, to do
good to those who hate them, to bless those who curse them, and to pray
for those who mistreat them—our hearts oftentimes challenge us to do
the opposite, namely, to avenge those who have hurt us by treating
them just as they have treated us. When the old “eye for an eye” response
takes root in our hearts, we may even believe it altogether natural
to feel the way we do and, when we translate this response into actions, we may
also assert that we’re absolutely justified in doing so.
Getting even with
those who have hurt us by exacting what we believe justice requires
isn’t natural to us as human beings. It is, in fact, a learned behavior, one we learn very
early in our childhood.
“Sibling rivalry”
is perhaps the first manifestation of this malignant evil, when brothers
and sisters get angry and fight over so many insignificant and trivial
things. What makes all of these instances similar, however, is that a
child doesn’t one’s sibling to get what he or she wants. From there,
it’s off to the races, as all too many parents have experienced
firsthand. And sadly, in all too many cases, sibling rivalry can last
entire lifetimes as brothers and sisters live estranged from one another
because they allow their hurt, anger, resentment, and hate to devour any possibility of
enjoying the delights of a rich and meaningful family life.
Some of the
ugliest hate rears its ugly head where we’d most hope it otherwise
wouldn’t, that is, in our relationships and especially our relationships
with those we love. How is it that engaged couples can be so much in
love, profess their love before God, family, and friends in a church,
and in such a short amount of time turn into the bitterest of
antagonists standing before a judge in a court of law? This awful
phenomenon can only be explained through the hurt that spouses inflict
upon one another. The hurt then becomes so inflamed and their anger,
resentment, and hatred grow so all-consuming, that their vengeance knows
no bounds. How it is that in-laws become so embittered that, at best,
they can merely tolerate one another’s presence? This too can only be
explained by the hurt which has accumulated and compounded over the
years. Left unchecked, such hurt develops into anger, resentment, and
hatred that serves only one purpose: it destroys families.
But, the
transformation of hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred into vengeance doesn’t stop within the circle
of the family.
No, the old “eye
for an eye” attitude extends even beyond the circle of the family. It
starts when other people push us and we learn in the rough and
tumble to push back. And, when others push us hard enough, we learn to
push back even harder in order to make sure all of those other people
think twice about ever pushing us around again.
Those “others”
aren’t just childhood bullies, however. No, they include all of those
people we meet during the course of our lives. These are the people who
push, claw, lie, and cheat their way past us to get all of those
trinkets and baubles we
believe rightfully belong to us.
This
transformation of hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred into vengeance occurs when we’re members
of a club or team in high school or college and want to be elected to
some focal leadership position. It also occurs when we’ve worked for a company and
have so carefully plotted our career trajectory that we’re positioned to receive
a very much-coveted promotion. Or, this transformation of hurt,
anger, resentment, and hatred into vengeance
occurs after we’ve volunteered to perform charitable work and, after
some time and experience under our belts, now
have some ideas about how the organization might do things
better. But, then, we’re told to mind our own business.
In each of these
instances, what happens is that someone else steps in and seizes what we
believe is rightfully ours. The hurt we experience transforms into anger and
resentment which become so palpable that they fuel hated and, then, we find
ourselves crafting ways to avenge our feelings of injustice. And so,
when we leave our hurt, anger, resentment, and hate unchecked, we allow them
to transform our clubs and teams, workplaces, and charitable
organizations into battlefields where we calculate not only how we are
going to gain an advantage over our adversaries but also to make them
pay for anything and everything they’ve done to us.
In today’s first
reading, we heard about a rivalry between David and Saul that was
swiftly coming to a head. For his part, David didn’t contest that Saul
was God’s anointed. But, David did very much resent how because of
jealousy Saul had been
pursuing David to the ends of the kingdom in order to kill him. On
several previous occasions, David had only narrowly escaped Saul’s
clutches. But, in the darkness of this night, the tables turned as David and his followers came upon the King and his army. Slipping
unnoticed into the encampment and making their way into the King’s tent,
David and Abishai found Saul fast asleep. The King’s royal sword
had been thrust into the ground near his head. Saul’s bodyguards, including Abner, were fast asleep.
Imagine David’s
feelings as he contemplated the opportunity Fate had placed right into
the palms his hands. If David allowed the hurt, anger, resentment, and
hatred in his heart to transform into vengeance, all that he’d have
to do is take the royal sword and thrust it straight through the King’s
throat. Not only would David avenge his hurt, anger, resentment, and
hatred, he would also become king. And, if David had wanted to “wash
his hands” of any complicity in Saul's death, Abishai was more than
ready to kill the King for David. “All I need is one thurst...I
won’t need two,” Abishai assured David.
David knew Fate
had handed him the opportunity of a lifetime. But, David didn’t kill
Saul. Instead, David took the King’s sword and, along with his entourage, left
Saul’s encampment to a hilltop some distance away. Then, after one of
David’s followers blew the ram’s horn to awaken Saul and his soldiers,
David announced:
“Here is the king’s
spear. Let an attendant come over to get it. The Lord will reward each
man for his justice and faithfulness. Today, though the Lord delivered
you into my grasp, I would not harm the Lord’s anointed.”
This turn of events undoubtedly troubled King Saul because the King—so
obsessed with jealousy and vengeful that David be killed—now owed his
life to the man he hated the most. Thinking about this turn of events
from Saul’s point of view, wouldn’t it have been more merciful had David
killed Saul rather than to allow him to live the rest of his life
indebted to the one person Saul hated the most?
This is precisely
what Jesus is teaching his disciples about in today’s gospel. Although
Jesus’ disciples might believe that hurt, anger, resentment, hatred, and
vengeance are natural responses, they are in fact learned behaviors
which, when enacted, lead people merrily down a one-way road ending only
in death.
Jesus’ disciples experience this death first as they allow hurt, anger,
resentment, and hatred to transform into the vengeance which destroys
their relationships. Jesus’ disciples then experience this death as
they allow hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred to transform into the
vengeance which destroys their marriages and families. And, finally, Jesus’ disciples
experience this death as they allow hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred
to transform into the vengeance which destroys their own souls.
What this evil
does is that it seduces us into believing that we’re happier not having
to relate with all of those miserable people. And, to be sure, we
have a laundry list of reasons why all of those people should be
miserable. But, what is really
happening is that we are allowing the hurt, anger, resentment, and
hatred present in our hearts to devour God’s love present in our hearts. And so, we fill the hours of our days with empty
excuses and rationalizations about why our resentments make sense and we
are justified to feel the way we do. Perhaps, too, we say that we’re
willing to forgive, but only if all of those other people apologize to
us first.
None of this is
natural to us. What is natural is God’s love present in our hearts. That is
the divine life God has breathed into our souls when He created us. But, this love is not a
feeling or an emotional response. It is, rather, an
attitude of mind and heart which makes it possible for us to will what
is good for others even when the harsh lessons of life these people have
taught us by their actions convince us to seek justice through
vengeance.
Now, while I’m
sure all of us could sit back and formulate a list of all those people
whose behavior toward us gives us the right to hate them, we need to
realize that what we are really identifying on that list is how far
we’ve grown away from that which is natural to us and how we’ve allowed
hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred to drive God’s love from our hearts.
In today’s
gospel, Jesus teaches his disciples not to open the door to this great
evil by allowing hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred to drive God’s love
from their hearts. Instead, Jesus teaches his disciples to be active in
warding off these incursions of evil by praying for those who hurt them
because, like Jesus, his disciples must love even their enemies and seek
what is in their good.
This lesson was
not some “pie in the sky” ideal Jesus posited to edify his disciples.
No, it was a lesson Jesus taught first through his words and second
through his example. On the Cross, Jesus didn’t exhibit any hurt, anger,
resentment, and hatred, the stuff of bitterness we’d ordinarily expect
from someone who had been unjustly persecuted. In fact, his words
indicate precisely the opposite because Jesus prayed that God forgive
those who crucified him. Interestingly, Jesus uttered this prayer not
because those who crucified him had first expressed their sorrow and
remorse but because Jesus made a decision not to allow the
power of God’s love present in his heart to be overcome by any feelings
of hurt, anger, resentment, and hatred.
So, too, it must
be for those of us who want to follow in the footsteps of our Master. As The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us:
Christian prayer
extends to the forgiveness of enemies, transfiguring the disciple by
configuring [the disciple] to [the] Master. Forgiveness is a high-point
of Christian prayer; only hearts attuned to God’s compassion can receive
the gift of prayer. Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world,
love is stronger than sin….[and] is the fundamental condition of the
reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of [human
beings] with one another. (#2844)
While it may sound like a silly exercise, I urge everyone to take some time and to
formulate that list of all those people whose actions we believe have given us the
right to be angry, resentful or, even, to hate them. But, as Jesus’ disciples, I’d then urge
us all to take a moment to pray for each of those people so that the
power of God’s—what is natural—will displace what is unnatural—the hurt,
anger, resentment, and hatred—that is strangling our hearts and
destroying our lives.
It is far easier
to forgive someone after we’ve avenged our hurt, anger, resentment, and
hate. However, while the pathway of virtue—which is the pathway
all human beings should traverse—is constructed upon “Doing unto others
as you would have them do unto you,” the pathway of holiness—which is
the pathway every one of Jesus’ disciple must traverse—is constructed
upon the Jesus’ teaching and example which requires, “Do unto others as
God would do unto them.” |
HOMILY
