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“For God’s gifts and call are irrevocable…”
(Romans 11:29)
“Have pity on
me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon,” the
Canaanite woman implored.
It’s a prayer
that many of us may have uttered or we know of other parents who are
in such pain that they have uttered this prayer or one very similar
to it. After having exhausted all possible avenues, we finally turn
in our desperation to God, hoping that He will take away the sins of
the world that are tearing our hearts to shreds.
The story of the
Canaanite woman in today’s Gospel is oftentimes interpreted as a
story about rejection and, for the Jews and Canaanites, the
rejection of what otherwise would be good people simply as a
consequence of centuries-old enmity. As the Canaanite woman
approached Jesus and pleaded with him, history would have suggested
that she was committing a big blunder because she should expect
Jesus to reject her, just as Jesus’ disciples had already dismissed
her and were urging him to do the same.
But, Jesus
didn’t reject the Canaanite woman. Instead, he questioned her as
the Canaanite woman persisted in her efforts.
One element of
this encounter that struck me was how the gifts of God and the sense
of vocation present in this woman’s soul made it possible for her to
commit such a blunder purposely and to risk public humiliation, not
only from her friends and neighbors but also from the Jews. Her
friends and neighbors would think it absurd to ask a Jew for
anything, their attitude toward the Canaanites being what it was.
The Jews would believe the woman to be somewhat of a pathetic
figure, not only because she worships alien gods but also for daring
to approach a Jew. Everyone knows that
“Miss Manners”
teaches that
you don’t break long-standing rules defining what constitutes social
etiquette!
That is, if this
story is about rejection.
I would like to
suggest thinking about this story as focusing not upon some nameless
and faceless Canaanite “woman.” Instead, I’d suggest thinking about
her as a Canaanite “mother” who knew her vocation and had the gifts
to be a good mother and, furthermore, how she models what genuine
holiness requires if a parent is to heal a child who exhibits
torment because he or she is caught in the clutches of a demon.
We’ve probably
all seen it or, at least, heard about it or watched it on
television.
Tormented by a
demon, young people change seemingly over night, exhibiting bizarre
behavior. A child who everyone previously regarded as a “nice and
decent” kid has grown rebellious, disobedient, and even violent;
tormented by a demon, an honest, well-behaved young person who never
got into any trouble now lies, misbehaves, and causes or gets into
very serious trouble; a young person who used to have such nice
friends, now tormented by a demon, associates with other young
people who are similarly tormented. They “hang out” together in a
clot, sporting as a badge of honor the symbols bespeaking their
torment.
Evidently,
nothing this mother had done helped her daughter, caught as she was
in a demon’s clutches. She probably had previously consulted the
professionals and experts and perhaps even the religious leaders of
the Canaanite people. But, none of these proved effective in
freeing her daughter from the torment she was experiencing. So,
risking everything and allowing neither the fear of rejection nor
social custom to stand in the way, the Canaanite woman bravely
crossed ethnic, racial, and religious barriers to plead her case
with a Jewish rabbi she had heard about.
“Have pity on
me, Lord, Son of David,” she cried from the depths of her heart,
ravaged as it was by anguish and desperation.
Jesus first
ignored this mother’s plea and, at that point, she may well have
interpreted Jesus dismissive attitude as proof positive of the
enmity emanating from the Jews that the Canaanites had experienced
for a long time and knew all too well. And, in response to Jesus’
apparent lack of concern, the Canaanite mother might have turned
away and headed back home, blaming herself for having been so
foolish as to have believed that this “Lord, the Son of David” would
listen and respond to her plea.
Once again, that
is, if this story is about rejection.
But, she didn’t
turn away. No, the Canaanite mother persisted, walking “further out
on a limb,” so to speak. She didn’t allow fear to keep the gifts of
God and the sense of vocation present in her soul from stopping
her. She believed in herself, her abilities, her vocation as a
mother, and her mission. So, the Canaanite mother used her sense of
humor and quick wit to engage Jesus in some old-fashioned
give-and-take, to such a degree that Jesus finally said, “O woman,
great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.”
Had this
Canaanite mother changed Jesus’ mind? Or, had she just simply worn
Jesus out?
No, I don’t
believe she did either.
Having over the
years never achieved the goal of finding someone who could heal her
daughter, the Canaanite mother’s willingness to seek out Jesus
testifies to how the gifts of God and the sense of vocation present
in her soul not only break down the barriers of enmity but also
bring about healing.
It would be an
unloving—a truly selfish—parent, wouldn’t it, who didn’t persist in
seeking healing for a child “tormented by a demon”? How could
any parent not recall in one’s mind’s eye the bundle of joy and
innocence when the newborn first arrived—the image and likeness of
God revealed in the arms of a doting parent—now tormented by a
demon? While it’s terribly painful for parents see what a child can
develop into when tormented by a demon, it’s worse yet when parents
discover their impotence in doing something that effectively deals
with the source of a young person’s torment.
What happens
as parents see their child slowly yet inevitably looking more and
more like a monster than that newborn infant who radiated something
of God’s image and likeness?
Where are parents to turn when they discover a child who is
tormented by a demon and parents discover their impotence in dealing
effectively with this demon?
The story of the
Canaanite mother provides some insight into how parents might answer
these important questions.
Just as the
Canaanite mother persisted in her efforts to find healing for her
daughter from the Canaanite “professionals” recommended by trusted
others, so too many parents today desperately try to find help for a
child tormented by a demon by seeking help from highly-recommended
professionals.
Many of us
probably know first-hand of just such a mother, father—or perhaps
it’s a grandparent, aunt, or uncle—trapped in what feels like a
“lose-lose” situation when attempting to find healing for a child
tormented by a demon. As the pain- and anguish- filled days turn
into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years, the
first place where parents seek healing for their child is just about
any professional that exists. Educators, medical doctors,
psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and perhaps even Dr.
Phil. But, none has proven effective. What torment this introduces
into the lives of parents and relatives who love a young person
tormented by a demon!
Let’s not
forget, however, that despite all of the professional help she could
get for her daughter, the Canaanite mother also came up
empty-handed. Her daughter only got worse. Once again, however,
the gifts of God and sense of vocation motivated the Canaanite
mother to undertake a last-ditch effort. What was that? She had to
cross existing ethnic, racial, and religious barriers to plead her
case with a Jewish rabbi she had heard could do something about her
desperate situation.
So, out of pain
and desperation, the Canaanite mother sought out this Jewish rabbi.
She prayed, “Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David.”
Amazingly, the
Canaanite woman didn’t pray for her daughter! No, she prayed for
herself and the torment she was bearing. It’s as if the Canaanite
woman prayed, “My heart is broken, I’ve turned everywhere I can.
Only God can help. I am helpless, so I’ve come to you. Have pity
on me.”
Hers wasn’t a
selfish prayer, pleading with the Lord to take away her troubles.
No, the Canaanite mother was begging this Lord, King David’s heir,
to stir up the gifts of God and sense of vocation in her soul so
that they would be powerful enough to break the grip which the demon
was exerting on her daughter’s soul. By having pity on the
Canaanite mother, then, the Lord would stir up within her the gifts
and sense of vocation God had already given her so that she could
heal what had been causing her daughter’s torment.
Notice that
Jesus didn’t say, “Woman, I heal your daughter.” No, Jesus said, “O
woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you
wish.”
The Canaanite
mother’s prayer and Jesus’ recognition of her faith provides a very
powerful spiritual lesson for parents concerning how, as Jesus’
disciples, they heal a child who is tormented by a demon.
It begins as the
gifts of God and a parent’s
sense of
vocation impel a parent to do something. But, oftentimes,
unquestioned barriers—like the ethnic, racial, and religious
barriers like those that had segregated the Canaanites and Jews
within fixed boundaries for centuries—can blind a parent to consider
where the true source of healing is to be found. Like the Canaanite
mother, healing of the soul when it is tormented by a demon is not
found as a parent first consults professionals and experts but as a
parent discovers and admits one’s
powerlessness and first begs God to strengthen the gifts of God and
sense of vocation that God has already placed into one’s
soul. This
is how a parent becomes capable of withstanding and, ultimately, of
breaking the grip the demon has upon a child’s soul.
“What will you
do to help my child?” is the question the Canaanite mother put to
Jesus and is identical to the question many parents ask
professionals and experts today.
But, the
Canaanite mother didn’t ask that question. From the depths of her
heart—from all of her pain and anguish where her daughter’s
torment was now becoming her own—the
Canaanite woman prayed “Lord, help me.”
The story of the
Canaanite mother teaches parents that they need first to turn to the
Lord, the Son of David when they are contending with a demon that
has a grip on a child’s
soul.
But, that’s the
end neither of the story nor of the lesson!
If the
experience of parents today is in any way similar to that of the
Canaanite mother, they shouldn’t expect the Lord to respond
affirmatively at first. The Lord is not rejecting their prayer.
No, the lack of a quick response is a test to discern whether
parents are trusting in themselves to deal with the demon or are
trusting in God to provide them all they need in contending with the
demon. After all, it was only after the Canaanite mother kept
pestering Jesus that he saw the great faith, the great hope, and the
great love emanating from this woman’s heart.
For
her part, instead of turning away at what appeared to be a rebuff,
the Canaanite mother persisted as she used her sense of humor to
engage Jesus in repartee so that she could get what she desperately
wanted, namely, for her daughter to be healed. She didn’t ask,
“What will you do for my child?” but from the depths of her
heart—from all of her pain and anguish that now as tormenting
her—the Canaanite mother prayed, “Lord help me.”
Jesus was no
stranger to rejection. However, Jesus was rejected not by
people of another race like the Canaanites, but from his own family,
his closest friends, as well as the Jewish religious and political
leaders of his own race. And yet, in the face of this rejection—which
would end in his crucifixion—Jesus
continued to offer himself and his ideas freely to all—Jew and
non-Jew alike—because he believed that “God’s gifts and call are
irrevocable,” as St. Paul later wrote to the Romans.
And that is
equally true of parents. “God’s gifts and call are irrevocable.”
When parents
recognize their impotence in dealing with a tormented child, as the
Canaanite mother did, parents must first turn confidently to the
“Lord, Son of David.” But, they shouldn’t expect the Lord to do the
heavy lifting. No, the Lord will embolden the gifts of God and
sense of vocation already breathed into parents’ souls so that
parents will now be capable of dealing effectively with the demon
that now is seeking to destroy the image and likeness of God once
breathed into their souls.
As this is true
of parents, so it is true of all of us. “God’s gifts and call are
irrevocable.” When we find our hearts heavily burdened because
others whom we love are tormented by a demon, let our first prayer
be, “Lord help me.” Not, however, with the intention that the Lord
will do our work, but that the Lord will embolden the gifts of God
and sense of vocation present in our souls to do the work the Lord
has called us to do, using the gifts and call already given to
us...both of which are irrevocable!
A brief commercial
break...
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HOMILY
