topleft05.jpg (18208 bytes)HOMILY
The Fourth Sunday of Lent Time (C)
Lataere Sunday

18 March
07


 

In a conversation I had years ago with a very wealthy man and civic leader who lived in a different locale, he said he wasn’t going to leave any of his quite substantial wealth to his children.  Instead, he was going to divest himself of his wealth through philanthropy.  His intention was to spend all of his wealth before he died.

“What about your children?” I asked.

The man responded: “While they were growing up, my wife and I gave them everything they needed.  As adults, it’s now their turn to use their abilities and talents to make their own fortune.”

Another very wealthy man and quite important person who lived in the same locale at the time differed with regard to what he was going to do with his quite substantial wealth.  In a conversation, he said he had set up charitable trusts for each of his children so that his children and grandchildren would never be without money to provide for everything they wanted and whenever they wanted it.

I happen to have known the children of both men, having observed them while they were growing up.  Looking on from a distance, you’d not have noticed very much difference between them.  All were raised in unbelievably sumptuous homes.  All wore the very finest of “designer label” clothes.  All went on rather extravagant vacations, not once but several times each and every year.

There was, however, one difference I noted at the time.  While the children of the man who was purposely divesting his wealth through philanthropy were much more actively engaged in group-oriented activities, the children of the man who had established charitable trusts appeared to prefer activities involving only one or two friends or acquaintances.  Furthermore, during their high school and undergraduate years, it was not at all unusual for the children of the father who established charitable trusts to become involved in numerous “indiscretions” and “run-ins with the law.”  But, given their last name and their father’s status within the community, there never were any significant consequences attached to their misconduct and sometimes illegal conduct.  It also was quite well-known among teenagers and young adults that this man’s children were involved heavily in alcohol and drugs.  Over the years, their addictions became so serious, I was told, that their father built a residential rehabilitation hospital in a city located about three hundred miles away so his children could receive treatment secretly.

The last time I heard anything about that man’s children, it had taken several years and, in some instances, several rehabilitations, to overcome the host of problems that had led each of them to conclude that alcohol and drugs would solve their problems.  Since that time, however, I haven’t heard anything about them.

Interestingly, I don’t know much about what happened to the children of the man who was intent upon spending his substantial wealth through various philanthropic endeavors.  I knew they went to college, got married, had children and the like, but that’s about all.  However, I recently learned that this man’s children have done very well.  They’re successful in their careers as lawyers, politicians, and one is a journalist.  All are very involved in civic affairs and one in municipal governance.  And, they have dedicated a lot of time and donated a lot of money to a variety of charitable endeavors.

The reason I’m relating the stories of these two fathers, their views about inherited wealth, and the lives of their children has to do with the idea I believe “lies behind” Jesus’ parable about the rich man and his two sons.  That idea can be framed by asking this question: “What do parents owe their children?”

It’s a very important question because we live in a capitalist society where the building of wealth and passing it on to future generations so that their lives will be better in the next generation figures so prominently that we almost take it for granted that parents are obligated to provide an inheritance of money or property.  For their part, children typically expect to receive an inheritance when their parents die.  It all sounds so “nice and clean” because it flows through our bodies like blood or water through the gills of fish.  But, I can personally attest to the fact that it is not at all unusual following the funeral of a surviving parent for terrible squabbles, arguments, and yes, even fisticuffs to be exchanged among children after the terms of the surviving parent’s will are made public for the first time.

Yesterday morning, I happened to turn on “FOX and Friends Weekends.”  One of the segments concerned a recent article published in Money magazine entitled “Building the Big Sum You’ll Need.”  What sparked my interest wasn’t the segment’s content, but Kelly Wright mentioning to the journalist that his 19-year-old son had recently asked him about helping him make some decisions about investing in the stock market for his future.  After the journalist applauded Wright’s son’s interest—something the journalist said every young person should do—the journalist then discussed some of the things young people should consider as they think about what they their future financial needs will be.  The journalist said something like: “Be sure to figure into the equation the size of the inheritance you’ll be receiving.”

When I heard that statement, I was stupefied.  I shouted at the television, “Children shouldn’t expect to receive an inheritance!”

Just what do parents owe their children?  That is the implicit question “lying behind” Jesus’ parable about the rich man and his two sons.

The religious and moral answer to that question is quite simple.  Beyond providing children the food, shelter, clothing, family social life, and education (including moral and religious education) they need to mature into healthy and holy adults, parents don’t owe their children anything and, furthermore, their children shouldn’t expect anything more.  By divine obligation, parents are required to provide everything a child needs—not everything a child wants—in order to mature into adulthood…and nothing more.  Anything beyond providing for those basic needs should be a completely unexpected “gift.”

It’s when children expect more than they need and begin to believe their parents owe them everything they want that big problems emerge.

Take Jesus’ parable where the two sons responded to the question, “What do my parents owe me?”  The younger son, believing his father owed him a portion of the estate, demanded it even before his father died.  Quite likely, the elder son believed his father owed him a portion of the estate, but we aren’t told whether this son believed his portion should be given to him prior to his father’s death.  And, for some astonishing reason, the father decides to divide the property between his two sons before he dies.

But, sure enough, that’s when the big problems emerge.

The younger son squanders his inheritance, we are told, on a “life of dissipation,” that is, on everything he wanted but didn’t need.  We aren’t told what the older son did with his inheritance, but it is likely he took care of his father and tended to what was now his property.  That is, the father placed all of his trust and what future he had in his two sons without demanding anything in return.  Perhaps that explains why, upon hearing the news of his brother’s return, the older son’s envy, jealousy, and resentment come to a full boil.  Here he had stayed home, had taken care of his father, and had put up with whatever it takes to care for an elderly parent.  That’s when the father said to the older son, “You are here with me always; everything I have is yours.  But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.”

Parents: can you imagine your children demanding an inheritance from you? …before you die?  And, if they did, would you freely give away your Roth 401-K “nest egg” and all of your other property without argument and without bargaining, come what may?  Are you willing to trust your children to take care of you until you die?  Do you believe this something appropriate for a child to ask or an appropriate way for a parent to act?

The parable seems to respond “Yes,” but not if we’re focusing simply upon the money and property, as any good capitalist would.  Instead, consider what the father did following his younger son’s departure. We’re told the father frequently climbed the hill that would make it possible for him to see his son returning.  Instead, the father climbed that hill fully expecting to see his son returning one day.  What the father did was to pray and to live in hope that his younger son would come to his senses.

And, that’s the lesson.  Notice that the father gave what he owed his younger son—not what he wanted (the father had already done that) but what he needed.  The father gave the gift of his continuing love to his younger son when, by human standards, the father should have locked the door because of his son’s dissipated lifestyle and the way he had wasted the inheritance.  That is one reason why the father is the hero of this parable.

During this season of Lent, we’re challenged to change how we think about those basic things of life that have very much to do with what we expect of God, our family members, our friends, and ourselves.  Today, the parable of the rich man challenges us to change how we think about what we expect from our parents.  Beyond providing what we need to mature into healthy and holy adults, what else should we expect?  The answer is “nothing”…if we are thinking about material things like money and property.  What we should expect is “something”…if we are thinking about spiritual things like love.

We can go a long way toward experiencing Easter peace and joy if, during this season of Lent, we remember to be grateful for our parents.  They have given us everything we need to mature into healthy and holy adults.  And, instead of allowing greed, envy, jealousy, and resentment to feed our desire they will give us what we want—an inheritance—that they instead will continue to give us what we truly need, the gift of God’s love present in our hearts, come what may!

 

 

 

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