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“Our language is truly impoverished,” I oftentimes will tell my
students. Whereas other language systems have several words to describe
the subtle differences and nuances in what humans mean when they speak,
the English language system usually has only one word.
Take the word,
“love,” for example.
The beautiful
Hebrew word, “hesed,” means “love.” However, hesed isn’t
love of a thing, like a car, chocolate, or even another human being.
No, hesed is the overwhelming desire present in one’s heart that
compels an individual to give of oneself to another person, solely for
that person’s benefit, regardless of the personal cost...to the point of
laying one’s life down on a cross for people that person doesn’t even
know.
Hesed
doesn’t consider getting my needs and desires met. No, hesed is
about how I look out for every opportunity to give to another by pouring
my life out on behalf of that person. In that sense, hesed
impels me to lay down my life by putting another person’s needs ahead of
my own because hesed is a totally unselfish, a totally giving,
and a totally unconditional love. Hesed isn’t something humans
decide to give; no, hesed is something required, namely, a 100%
commitment to love another person…all the time, no matter what and come
what may.
Spiritually
speaking, the Hebrew word hesed denotes the power of divine love
that, when it fills our hearts, can transform our lives, our marriages,
our families, and our world.
Knowing this word
is very important because, in the dialogue between Jesus and Peter we
just heard in today’s gospel, Jesus used hesed when he asked
Peter not once but three times: “Do you love me?”
For us, Jesus’
question to Peter “Do you love me?”—understood as hesed—presents
a tremendous challenge precisely because this concept of love is the
complete opposite of our contract-based, “look out for number one first”
culture. Simply put: We live in a world where contracts predominate.
We agree with a
bank to make monthly mortgage payments on our home. If we cannot make
the payments, we know the bank will foreclose on the mortgage and we’ll
find ourselves out on the street.
We agree with our
employer to provide specified services. If we’re not able to provide
those services or the quality of those services is not what our employer
expects, we’re likely to be fired.
Even as children,
we enter into contracts. For example, many children agree to perform
certain household chores. In return, they receive an allowance from
their parents. If children don’t perform these chores, not only do
children lose their allowance but also get into big-time trouble.
Believe it or
not, many women and men who enter into marriage also think
contractually. While “living together” before marriage might not
be thought about as a contract, it really is. Why? Simply
put, if the living arrangements don’t work out to each person’s
satisfaction, either one can terminate the relationship. The most
notorious example of a contractual understanding of marriage, of course,
is a “pre-nuptial agreement.” Schedules, workloads, financial
arrangements are all negotiated prior to the marriage and “signed and
sealed” on a legal document so that everything the partners believe
needs must be done will be done. And, when one spouse doesn’t live up
to the terms of the pre-nup, that’s all the reason the other spouse
needs to terminate the contract.
Entering into
contracts is so much part of our culture that, just like water so is
much part of the environment for fish, we take it for granted that once
we enter into a contract, we had better fulfill its terms or we will
find ourselves in pretty deep water…perhaps with our heads underwater.
It’s also pretty
easy to think about our relationship with God in contractual terms. God
has breathed life into us and, as a consequence, we find ourselves
obligated to live our lives as God requires. If we do what God expects
of us, so the contract specifies, things will be fine and a lifetime of
doing what God expects will get us into heaven. If we don’t do what God
expects us to do, things aren’t fine and we need to get things
straightened out pretty quickly because we know the contract specifies
that a lifetime of not doing what God expects us to do gets us into real
trouble of an eternal variety.
Hesed,
however, is not about contracts. Humans write these documents based
upon the suspicion each party has that the other party will not meet its
contractual obligations. That’s why, at the first sign of breach of the
contractual terms, we look for recourse. We ask: “What am I going to
get or how am I going to profit because the contract’s terms aren’t
met?” In short, contracts are needed in a world where there is little
trust and people need to set limits upon their responsibilities should
another party fail to live up to its contractual responsibilities and
vice-versa. And, lawyers love to help aggrieved individuals get their
due.
But, when Jesus
asked Peter, “Do you love me?”, Jesus was asking not about a
contract. No, Jesus was asking about a covenant because in a covenant,
the root concepts are trust and commitment and not just for today or
tomorrow, but trust and commitment even to death. When two parties
enter into a covenant, should one party need something and the other
party is able to fulfill it, the latter doesn’t give any thought to the
question “Should I?” No, the hesed present in the heart compels
that person to provide for the other’s need even at the cost of not
providing for one’s own needs.
Furthermore, when
a covenant is established, at the first sign of a breach, the parties
don’t set about finding a way out of the covenant as they would in a
contract. Instead, the parties look for ways to repair their
relationship. Each party asks: “What do I have to do and what are we
going to do together to solve our problem?” This is precisely what
Jesus is asking Peter. After all, Peter had denied Jesus not once, not
twice, but thrice. “Do you love me?” is to say, “Can we get our
relationship back on track because I love (hesed) you?”
Just as God has
created a covenant with us, so we also can create covenants that have
the power to transform our lives, our marriages, our families, and our
world.
For example, we
can allow the hesed present in our hearts to motivate us as
individuals to care for others and their needs when we’d really rather
care for ourselves. Instead of leaving it to others or tossing money at
social problems and injustice, hesed impels us as individuals to
do something about social problems and injustice. Marriage also is
a covenant where “opposites” are attracted to each other and through the
marital covenant, spouses can allow hesed to motivate them to
provide strength for each other’s weaknesses. It’s much easier,
isn’t it, to point the finger of blame at someone else for another’s
weaknesses? Family life, too, can be a covenant as the individual
members of the family allow hesed to motivate them so that they
to assist other family members when they’d rather do what they want.
How different that is from only doing what I am paid to do as a member
of a family!
There would be no
need for a covenant if human beings, spouses, and family members were
equal. But, the simple fact is that none of us are equal. When we make
covenants, we trust and commit ourselves to “give” of ourselves and
others trust and commit themselves to “give” of themselves not because
charity is demanded but because the hesed present in our hearts
requires it of us.
A covenant, then,
requires a relationship but it’s not just any kind of relationship. A
covenant requires entering into a deep and strong relationship—as deep
and strong as each party can make it because of trust and commitment—so
that the parties to the covenant can know one another, reciprocate with
one another, and strengthen one another. People don’t enter into
covenants because of what they will get but because of what they are
able to give, so that as a result of entering into the covenant, the
needs of both parties are met. Likewise, people just don’t jump into a
covenant, that is, if they are smart. And, that’s to say nothing about
the terms of the covenant because these are based not upon human law but
upon divine love.
While we may
think of our relationship with God in terms of a contract, we need to
realize that our relationship with God isn’t a contract. There aren’t
terms specifying what, when, how, and how much. Instead, our
relationship with God is best characterized as a “covenant” whose power
is divine love, hesed, and whose terms are specified by trust and
commitment.
When Jesus asked
Peter, “Do you love me?”, Jesus was asking whether Peter would
commit himself to a covenant whereby Peter would live according to the
dictates of divine love, hesed. “Are you willing to pour
yourself out 100% on my behalf without counting the personal cost?”
That’s what Jesus was asking Peter.
Commenting on
this passage, St. Augustine noted, “Questioning Peter, Jesus also
questions each of us.” Jesus addressed the question, “Do you love me?”,
as much to Peter as he addresses it to each of us.
“Feed my sheep,”
Jesus says. We feed others by allowing hesed to impel us as we
serve others and do good for them. And, when we bind ourselves in this
way, we live in grace and not need to fear what our breaches of the
contract might exact of us. Yes, some people do live in fear of
God and God’s just judgments because they have broken the terms of the
contract. Yet, for those who live in the spirit of hesed,
trespasses are forgiven because the hesed of divine love
specifying the covenant replaces the lack of trust and commitment
stipulating the contract.
“Our language is
truly impoverished,” I oftentimes will tell my students. Whereas
other language systems have several words to describe the subtle
difference and nuances in what humans mean when they speak, the English
language system usually has only one word.
Take the word,
“love,” for example.
The beautiful
Hebrew word, “hesed,” means “love.” However, hesed isn’t
love of a thing, like a car, chocolate, or even another human being.
No, hesed is the overwhelming desire present in one’s heart that
compels an individual to give of oneself to another person, solely for
that person’s benefit, regardless of the personal cost.
Hesed
doesn’t consider getting my needs and desires met. No, hesed is
about how I look out for every opportunity to give to another by pouring
my life out on behalf of that person. In that sense, hesed
impels me to lay down my life by putting another person’s needs ahead of
my own because hesed is a totally unselfish, a totally giving,
and a totally unconditional love. Hesed isn’t something humans
decide to give; no, hesed is something required, namely, a 100%
commitment to love another person…all the time, no matter what and come
what may.
Spiritually
speaking, the Hebrew word hesed denotes the power of divine love
that, when it fills our hearts, can transform our lives, our marriages,
our families, and our world.
Knowing this word
is very important because in the dialogue between Jesus and Peter we
just heard in today’s gospel, Jesus used the word hesed when
asked Peter not once but three times: “Do you love me?”
For us Jesus’
question to Peter—“Do you love me?”—understood as hesed, presents
a tremendous challenge precisely because this concept of love is the
complete opposite of our contract-based “look out for number one first”
culture. Simply put: We live in a world where contracts predominate.
We agree with a
bank to make monthly mortgage payments on our home. If we cannot make
the payments, we know the bank will foreclose on the mortgage and we’ll
find ourselves out on the street.
We agree with our
employer to provide specified services. If we’re not able to provide
those services or the quality of those services is not what our employer
expects, we’re likely to be fired.
Even as children,
we enter into contracts. For example, many children agree to perform
certain household chores. In return, they receive an allowance from
their parents. If children don’t perform these chores, not only do
children lose their allowance but also get into big-time trouble.
Believe it or
not, many women and men who enter into marriage also think
contractually, the most notorious example being a “pre-nuptial
agreement.” Schedules, workloads, financial arrangements are all
negotiated prior to the marriage so that everything that needs to get
done will get done. And, when one spouse doesn’t live up to the terms
of the pre-nup, that’s all the reason the other spouse needs to
terminate the contract.
Entering into
contracts is so much part of our culture that, just like water so is
much part of the environment for fish, we take it for granted that once
we enter into a contract, we had better fulfill its terms or we will
find ourselves in pretty deep water…perhaps with our heads underwater.
It’s pretty easy
to think about our relationship with God in contractual terms. God has
breathed life into us and, as a consequence, we find ourselves obligated
to live our lives as God requires. If we do what God expects of us, so
the contract specifies, things will be fine and a lifetime of doing what
God expects will get us into heaven. If we don’t do what God expects us
to do, things aren’t fine and we need to get things straightened out
pretty quickly because we know the contract specifies that a lifetime of
not doing what God expects us to do gets us into real trouble of an
eternal variety.
Hesed,
however, is not about contracts. Humans write these documents based
upon the suspicion each party has that the other party will not meet its
contractual obligations. That’s why, at the first sign of breach of the
contractual terms, we look for recourse. We ask: “What am I going to
get or how am I going to profit because the contract’s terms aren’t
met?” In short, contracts are needed in a world where there is little
trust and people need to set limits upon their responsibilities should
another party fail to live up to its contractual responsibilities and
vice-versa. And, lawyers love to help aggrieved individuals get their
due.
But, when Jesus
asked Peter, “Do you love me?”, Jesus was asking not about a contract.
No, Jesus was asking about a covenant because in a covenant, the root
concept is commitment. Commitment not just for today or tomorrow, but
commitment even to death. When two parties enter into a covenant,
should one party need something and the other party is able to fulfill
it, I don’t give any thought to the question “Should I?” No, the
hesed present in my heart compels me to provide for this need even
at the cost of not providing for my own needs. Furthermore, when a
covenant is established, at the first sign of a breach, the parties
don’t set about finding a way out of the covenant as they would in a
contract. Instead, the parties look for ways to repair their
relationship. They ask: “What do I have to do and what are we going to
do together to solve our problem?” This is precisely what Jesus is
asking Peter. After all, Peter had denied Jesus not once, not twice,
but thrice. “Do you love me?” is to say, “Can we get our relationship
back on track because I love (hesed) you?”
Just as God has
created a covenant with us, so we also can create covenants that have
the power to transform our lives, our marriages, our families, and our
world.
For example, we
can allow the hesed present in our hearts to motivate us as
individuals to care for others in their needs when we’d really rather
just care for ourselves. Rather than leave it to others or to toss
money at social problems and injustice, hesed impels us as individuals
to do something about social problems and injustice.
Marriage is a
covenant where “opposites” are attracted to each other and through their
covenant, spouses can allow hesed to motivate them to provide
strength for each other’s weaknesses rather than pointing the finger of
blame at each another for one’s weaknesses.
Family life, too,
can be a covenant as the individual members of the family allow hesed
to motivate them so that they to assist other family members when they’d
rather do what they want. How different that is from only doing what I
am paid to do as a member of a family.
There would be no
need for a covenant if human beings, spouses, and family members were
equal. But, the simple fact is that none of us are equal. When we make
covenants, we “give” of ourselves not because it is demanded but because
the hesed present in our hearts requires it of us.
A covenant, then,
requires a relationship but not just any kind of relationship. It
requires entering into a deep and strong relationship—as deep and strong
as each party can make it—so that the parties to the covenant can know
one another, reciprocate with one another, and strengthen one another.
People don’t enter into covenants because of what they will get but
because of what they are able to give, so that as a result of entering
into the covenant, the needs of both parties are met. Likewise, people
just don’t jump into a covenant, that is, if they are smart. And,
that’s to say nothing about the terms of the covenant because these are
based not upon human law but upon divine love.
While we may
think of our relationship with God in terms of a contract, we need to
realize that our relationship with God isn’t a contract. There aren’t
terms specifying what, when, how, and how much. Instead, our
relationship with God is best characterized as a “covenant” whose power
is divine love, hesed.
When Jesus asked
Peter, “Do you love me?”, Jesus was asking whether Peter would commit
himself to a covenant whereby Peter would live according to the dictates
of divine love, hesed.
Commenting on
this passage, St. Augustine noted, “Questioning Peter, Jesus also
questions each of us.” Jesus addressed the question, “Do you love me?”,
as much to Peter as he addresses it to each of us.
“Feed my sheep,”
Jesus says. We feed others by allowing hesed to impel us as we
serve others and do good for them. And, when we bind ourselves in this
way, we live in grace and not need to fear what our breaches of any
contract might exact of us. Trespasses are forgiven because the
hesed of divine love behind the covenant replaces the human justice
behind the contract.
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HOMILY
