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In my homily for the fourth Sunday of Advent, I noted that Matthew’s narrative of the birth of Jesus Christ focuses not so much upon Mary as it does upon Joseph. I also noted that we overlook the important role Matthew assigns Joseph because when we approach familiar scriptures—like the narrative of the birth of Jesus Christ—we oftentimes “read what we know” when we should instead “know what we read.” One of the reasons Joseph is significant in Matthew’s account of the birth of Jesus Christ is that this evangelist wants his readers to understand that Jesus was born into King David’s royal house. The genealogy—the listing of who begat whom over the forty generations which preceded the birth of Jesus Christ—is meant to establish Jesus’ pedigree. The genealogy is far from being a “boring” list of men long dead. No, it’s a veritable “Who’s Who” of exceedingly great, honorable, and faithful Jewish fathers covering a period of more than six hundred years. These were the men of faith who raised children of faith, passing the faith along intact to the next generation and, thus, fulfilling their most important role as fathers: teacher of the faith to their children. In today’s gospel, we hear again about Joseph not only as a father but once again as a man of prayer who listens to God’s revelation in the form of dreams. Remember last Sunday’s gospel? God sent an angel who appeared to Joseph in a dream and told Joseph to trust Mary because she was telling the truth when she told Joseph that God was the father of the child she was bearing. This Sunday, we hear of yet three additional dreams. In the first dream, Joseph is instructed to take his family to Egypt in order to protect the infant from harm. In the second dream, Joseph is instructed to return his family to Israel. In the third dream, Joseph is instructed to take his family to Nazareth. We’ve heard about St. Joseph “the Carpenter” and St. Joseph “the Worker.” But, in light of these dreams and the first dream in particular, I’d like to focus my homily this Sunday of the Holy Family upon the role of the father as his family’s protector, that is, St. Joseph “the Protector.” Yes, fathers have an irreplaceable role in their marriages as well as in their families which includes the duty of protecting every family member, and especially their children, from harm. When fathers act upon this duty, they uniquely contribute to the healthy physical, spiritual, and moral development of the sons and daughters God has entrusted to their ministry as fathers. Dads: did you ever consider that God has called you to be a minister to your children—a “pastor”—and that you possess a divine responsibility for promoting the healthy physical, spiritual, and moral development of the children God has entrusted to your paternal ministry, just as a pastor does of his parishioners? If you haven’t, you absolutely should. If you have, it’s quite likely you oftentimes feel overwhelmed in fulfilling your divine responsibility, especially in a society which today blurs the extremely important meaning and role that only fathers can fulfill, for example, by asserting that having two “mommies” is just as good for children as having a biological father and mother. When I suggested that one of a father’s most important duties is to protect his family members from harm, that includes, of course, physical harm caused by unjust aggression. For example, when an individual aggresses against one’s wife or children, auto-physical responses that God has specifically hard-wired into fathers immediately kick in. Adrenaline rushes throughout a father’s circulatory system, his muscles tighten, and his first mental response is—as the Christian evangelist Doug Giles would say—to rearrange the aggressor’s face. No self-respecting father would ever stand by and allow anyone to treat the members of his family disrespectfully. Instead, he would take swift action in their defense. But, there is another aspect of protecting one’s family members from physical harm caused by unjust aggression that many fathers fail to understand today. The father is first a husband and, as such, he permits no one to threaten, disrespect, or cause upset to his wife. And, this includes his children! For example, a father must defend his wife against any rudeness, disobedience, and impulsive aggression on the part of their children. While this is important when children are under seven years of age, it is extremely important when children are teenagers. No self-respecting husband would stand by and allow his children to treat his wife with disrespect. Instead, he would take swift action in his wife’s defense. It is said—and I believe it to be very true—that “the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love his wife.” That is why no father would permit anyone to disrespect his wife, including his children—and especially—at home. While all of that is important, a father protects his children from harm more importantly by being physically, spiritually, and morally present in daily family life. Fathers do great harm to their children when physically, spiritually, and morally absent from daily family life. While “absence makes the heart grow fonder” in a romance, the truth as it concerns the healthy physical, spiritual, and moral development of children is that the absence of a father renders the heart weaker. For example, think about how a father protects his family simply by going to work every day. A father doesn’t just provide for his wife and children. No, a father protects them from poverty by earning the money it takes to shelter them as well as to take care of their need for a roof, food, clothing, education, and faith. When a father goes to work day in and day out, week in and week out, year in and year out, his children feel more secure as their father teaches them to trust that he—the image of God the Father in the family—will do everything he can to provide for their basic needs. Imagine the debilitating insecurity children experience when their fathers fail to, do not, or will not provide for the basic needs of their children. A father also protects his children—even if it means uprooting his entire family and leaving for Egypt, like Joseph—by repelling all of those cultural forces that threaten his children physically, spiritually, and morally. Fathers don’t allow their inexperienced and immature children to befriend miscreant kids, strangers, drug and pornography dealers, or criminals, including surrogate fathers like gang leaders. No, fathers use their strong arm to draw a line in the sand about who their children will associate with. Why? Because the goal is to teach children not to make impulsive mistakes that can cause grave harm. Now you know why fathers demand to meet with their teenage daughter’s boyfriends. Notice: that’s not “ask.” A father stares this fellow straight in the eye and, with a father’s intuition (which differs from a mother’s intuition), sizes up this fellow’s intentions and worth. Even though this oftentimes mortifies his daughter, the father is responding to his divine responsibility to assess any young man who approaches his daughter. It’s all about protecting her. Without a word being spoken, the father communicates to the young man: “This is my daughter. You had better treat her well, or else….” It may take years appreciate but, upon reflection, as Betty, Bud, and Kathy learned in the midst of their crises when growing up, " Father Knows Best.” It is the father’s vocation—the challenge that brings out the best in him—to form in his children those physical, intellectual, spiritual, and moral powers they will need to succeed later in life. Their focus is upon what must be done today to ensure a healthy and productive tomorrow. Especially important in this regard is how a father strengthens the power of judgment in his children so that they will be able to protect themselves and their loved ones later in life. Yes, this reflects a father’s love, but it is more than that because it reflects his leadership in the role of teacher. A father provides protective, empowering lessons about what’s right and wrong so that, long after his children have left home for good and, in fact—like all of those fathers listed in Matthew’s genealogy—long after he has passed from this earth, this father lives on in the hearts of his children and grandchildren not simply as a great man but, more significantly, as a wonderful leader and teacher of life’s lessons. What are some of those important lessons? Possessing a healthy attitude toward work along with serious work habits. Efforts and results teach children about standards and achievement. Yes, play is an important aspect of life and is not to be overlooked. But, work is necessary to live. Respect for rightful authority. The fourth commandment states: “Honor your father and mother.” For children, the word “honor” means obeying one’s parents because they do know what’s right and wrong. When a father commands respect for his wife and himself, this lesson builds in his children the foundation for adult life because, as children, they have learned to respect teachers, employers, civil law, God’s law, as well as themselves and their conscience. Personal integrity and ethics. Through his words and actions, a father teaches his children how they should comport themselves honorably and justly in the oftentimes dishonorable and unjust world beyond the home. Especially important in this regard is telling the truth, keeping one’s word, putting duty and honor first, and deferring to others’ rights. Self-confidence. In this era when so many parents are worried about building “self-esteem” in their children, fathers endeavor instead to build a sense of healthy self-confidence in their children. By being present at home to encourage and to correct their children, fathers assist their children to learn from their mistakes. More substantively, fathers also teach their children to assess their strengths and limitations accurately as well as to be able to frame questions and answers logically, to think ahead and foresee consequences, to assess people’s character and values, and to spot bovine excrement immediately when it crops up. With this kind of self-confidence, children develop sound judgment and begin to use their brains like responsible adults. Appropriate gender roles. A father provides an attractive example of responsible masculinity. He acts as a model for his sons' growth into Christian and Catholic manhood. And he conveys to his daughters—most often unconsciously—the traits they should look for in judging the character of men their age, especially in potential suitors for marriage. In many countless and subtle ways, a father forms the pattern for manly character in each of his sons and, indirectly, for the kind of man each daughter will someday marry. Obviously, being a good father doesn’t just happen. No, being a good father begins with dreams, especially the dream of being a father. But, that isn’t the end of the process. No, being a good father is the result of countless decisions made as fathers try, first, to be obedient to God by responding to their vocation, second, to be great husbands to their wives, and third, to be good fathers to their children. These men experience a transcendent purpose for their lives—protecting the welfare of their families—which gives their lives meaning and profound happiness. And, although no father is perfect—only our heavenly Father is perfect—every good father enjoys the life-long love and deepest respect from their wives and children. Likewise, being a good father doesn’t result from reading a book which states that a good father is a mother to his children and a “friend” of his children. No, being a good father is the result of making a conscious effort to grasp and understand one’s protective role and what it means and requires, oftentimes in extremely trying circumstances. “What should I do?” a father asks himself when the police call at 2:00 a.m. telling him that his child let someone else use his car which has ended up in an accident. Or, finding an illegal substance hidden in a child’s backpack, what’s a father to do? A teenage daughter announces that she’s pregnant. The most appropriate response to these and other highly-charged and tense situations is not found in a book. No, God has hot-wired fathers to protect their wives and children so that the most appropriate response oftentimes is instinctive because it emerges for the heart of a man who loves God and neighbor as he loves himself. This is why God has given fathers uniquely masculine traits. These are the strengths that enable fathers to protect others, starting first with family members. This characteristic is extremely important to their wives, their children, and their own happiness in life. Yes, Joseph was a man of faith who listened to his dreams but Joseph also was, as Pope John Paul II noted in Guardian of the Redeemer, a “doer.” In Matthew's Gospel, Joseph repeatedly “rose up” from a dream and did what God asked of him to protect his family: going from Nazareth, to Bethlehem, from Bethlehem to Egypt, from Egypt back to Bethlehem, from Bethlehem to Nazareth —“doing became the beginning of Joseph’s way.” For John Paul, what is crucially important is that this is how St. Joseph sanctified daily life in the Holy Family. The Pope notes:
St.
Joseph is the model of those humble ones that Christianity raises up
to great destinies...he is the proof that in order to be a good and
genuine follower of Christ, there is no need of great things—it is
enough to have the common, simple and human virtues, but they need
to be true and authentic. (1989, para. 24) Joseph is important not only because he is integral to how the birth of Jesus Christ came about but also because Joseph—full of true and authentic, common, simple, and human virtue—protected his family from danger. For fathers, in particular, St. Joseph’s example teaches that the vocation of the father requires a man who is capable of protecting his family. It is the father's vocation—the challenge that brings out the best in him—to form in his children the powers and attitudes they will need to succeed in life as well as to strengthen these powers and attitudes so his children in turn will later protect themselves and their own loved ones.
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HOMILY
