|
Compared to other languages, the English language has been judged by
expert linguists to be “impoverished.”
Consider, for example, the word, “love.” When we say that we love
someone or something, that one, four-letter word can assume multiple
meanings, many of which are entirely dependent upon the tone and
context in which that word is expressed. Just think about Popeye
stating, “I love my spinach.” Then consider a four-year old boy
named Calvin, who is seated with his Mom and Dad at the dinner table, and
uttering the exact same statement as his Mom passes the bowl of
spinach and says, “Eat your spinach, Calvin.”
In
contrast, expert linguists have judged Greek by to be a “rich”
language system. For example, Greek has many words for what in
English is rendered, “love.” In light of today’s gospel where Jesus
says that the entire law is summed up in loving God and neighbor as
we love ourselves, let’s consider three of those Greek words and in
particular, the idea that “loving God and neighbor is a whole lot
like marriage”:
1.
Eros:
This provides the root for the English word, “erotic.” It describes
carnal love, the stuff of libido and desire. It responds not to
thought but to passion, that is, unbridled or uncontrolled feeling
coursing through the human body. As young children have described
their parents’ eros, it’s “When their eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of their eyes” or “When Mom puts on perfume
and Dad puts on cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
But, as we all know, the love called eros comes and then it goes, it
blooms and it withers, it’s hot and then it grow cold. Eros is a
type of love, yes, but it’s not true love. Why? Because “it’s all
about me”…how I feel, what another person does for me, etc.
2.
Philos:
This provides the root for the English words “philosophy” and
“Philadelphia.” It describes a more intellectual or familial type
of love. It is a response based upon an individual’s intellectual
interests—like the love of wisdom, philosophy, or literature and the
like—or a bond of blood (family) or kinship (civic community or
nation)—like brotherhood, “philadelphia.” For married couples,
philos is experienced the day when one spouse awakens in the early
morning, rolls over, and takes a good hard, long look at one’s
spouse and says, “My God! What have I done?” But, rather than
wonderment to transform into wallowing in pity about what might have
been, this spouse recommits oneself to what this spouse hopes will
one day be because of the bond of philos.
Yes, philos is a type of love; it is more permanent and durable than
eros because it is rooted in a relationship. But, philos is not
true love because although a spouse is committed to the
relationship, that doesn’t mean this person truly loves one’s
spouse.
3.
Agape:
There is no English word for this “perfect” form of love the Greek
language describes. Agape is not a feeling. Nor is agape a
thought. No, agape is an attitude that defines how an individual is
going to act, no matter how one might feel or how one thinks or
one’s bonds with others. Agape is love purely for the sake of love,
a selfless attitude of abiding care and concern, even in the midst
of anger or dislike. It’s evidence is not an accident but the
fulfillment of a purposeful intention for which the individual is
willing to give even one’s life. One way to conceive of this pure
form of love is the difference between saying, “My marriage is a
rotten deal and this situation just proves it” (where external
things shape an individual’s behavior) and “Loving my spouse is very
hard work and I’m going to have to use this situation to demonstrate
my love for my spouse” (where I make a choice about how I will
approach the day no matter what).
Agape is the interior attitude we make concrete in our behaviors, no
matter what the personal cost may be.
Thus, the English word “love” can mean any and all of these
things…and, as the Greek language describes it with other words,
denotes that love can mean much more.
As
an emotion, we all know that love is fickle. It comes and goes, and
its comings and goings rarely make sense or can be made sense of.
One thing we know for sure, however, is that these “feelings” will
never keep spouses together for the long haul. Something more is
needed.
As
an idea or a bond, love is certainly more permanent than eros. This
idea or bond may not make any sense at moments in time, but it does
call to mind the importance of fidelity to the commitments one has
made. Admirable as this character trait may be, this form of love
can make for a “loveless” marriage, that is, one where spouses are
and are going to remain committed to each other, but neither
experiences the fullness of what the fullness of love in a marriage
can become as it moves from eros (attraction and infatuation) to
philos (fidelity and commitment) and from philos to agape (perfect
love).
Motivated by the pure form of love, an individual’s behavior reveals
something beautiful and good about that person’s character. Agape
evidences itself in what that person freely and willingly does in
response to an abiding attitude of care and concern for others, for
example, by putting their needs ahead of one’s own needs.
Understood in this way, agape is the antithesis of individualism
and, in particular, the “rugged individualism” upon which our
society places such a high premium. What agape requires is the
possessing of an attitude of care and concern for others, as
individuals, as families, as cultures, as nations, and as the human
race.
Jesus seems to have understood all of this and the challenges that
love presents to human beings like you and me. By combining love of
God and neighbor with love of self, Jesus teaches that one cannot be
fulfilled without the other. In other words, there can be no pure
love of God without loving other human persons. Nor can love of
other human beings exist without pure love for God. The challenge
for us is to learn that self-love and self-absorption—love of self
absent love of others—lead only to loneliness and isolation, making
us very unhappy and unfilled in our lives. Being “other-centered”
is how we experience happiness and fulfillment. Yet, our tendency
sometimes is to say, “Just leave me alone!”
To
love others means to seek their true good, to serve them out of pure
love of God. This behavior requires that we move outside of
ourselves and our considerations about what we want, namely, to look
beyond the narrow interests of our egoism and self-love. The more
we love others—God and neighbor—purely, this is how Jesus’ disciples
walk the pathway toward fulfillment.
Perhaps the absence of agape in our marriages and families goes a
long way to explain why so many spouses and children today seek
happiness in the fleeting emotions and counterfeit form of agape,
that is, eros—the pleasure provided by things—and philos—the
pleasure provided by the crowd, peer group, or gang—and don’t
understand why they are so unhappy and unfilled deep inside of
themselves. What Jesus is teaching is that this unhappiness and
lack of fulfillment—it’s called “frustration”—is the result of love
of self.
In
the end, loving God and neighbor is like marriage because it
requires of us—as it requires of God—putting aside how we may feel,
committing ourselves more deeply and with greater fidelity to one
another’s good, and choosing the attitude that we will love God and
neighbor as we love ourselves. This achievement is not measured in
terms of what we “don’t” do—as defined by the Ten Commandments and
Church law—but what we actually “do” and, in particular, as we
change our attitude about what the word “love” actually means. As
Jesus taught in today’s gospel to the Pharisaic scholar of Moses’
law, “The whole law and the prophets depend on these two
commandments.”
What’s important about agape—pure love—is that the experience of
this form of love is how we experience something of God’s life as
God continues to pour out His love for us, even when we love
ourselves more than we love either God or neighbor.
A
brief commercial break...
Each year, the people at Magnificat® produce a companion edition for
the season of Advent. Similar to a what older Catholics may remember
as a "prayer book," the companion edition contains all sorts of
prayers, readings, reflections, art, and activities for every member
of the family to prepare each day of the season of Advent for the
coming of Christ at Christmas.
Grandparents might consider purchasing a copy for themselves and
copies for each of their grandchildren. Confirmation sponsors might
consider purchasing a copy for themselves as well as the person they
sponsored in the faith. Spouses might purchase a copy for themselves
and use it for daily prayer during the season of Advent. Parents
might purchase a copy for the family and use it to lead prayer
before dinner each evening.
At a price of $3 .95 for 1-4 copies plus $1 shipping/handling, $2.50
for 5-9 copies plus $3 shipping/handling, and $1.50 for 10-49 copies
(plus $5 shipping/handling), the companion edition makes a perfect
and very affordable opportunity to prepare for the coming of Christ
at Christmas as well as an Advent gift to spur family, friends, and
colleagues toward greater spiritual growth during the season of
Advent.
The companion edition has a limited press run that sells out each
year. Furthermore, orders are filled in the order received. So,
place your order early.
To place an order for the 2011 companion edition of Magnificat® for
the season of Advent, call 1-970-416-6670, email specialissue@intrepidgroup.com
for ordering information, or visit www.magnificat.com.
|
HOMILY
